okay, i admit it. i was a HUGE G.I. Joe fan as a kid. i loved the unbelievably shitty craftsmanship of these "action figures." c'mon, how fucking cool were you with snake eyes that came with his wolf, Timber. zartan who would turn blue in the sun, or who could forget "snow job?" hehe. for me,
stormshadow was always the SHIT!

well all of that came to an avalanche of despair when i got this in the mail.

i waited for this fucking piece of shit for 8-10 weeks, thinking it would be cool, you know, the fridge! i was a huge bears fan as a kid, but that's a story for another time. anyway...this was THE shittiest joe figure. EVER! i mean, why would they give him a weapon that was a football attached to a handle with a chain. wow, sucked. G.I. Joe was never the same again. i think that i got this just prior to my pyromania phase, so i'm pretty sure i melted him with lighter fluid, or shot him into the woods attached to a bottle rocket. fitting end to a worthless character that they gave away for free with UPC and postage. i think i also learned that free shit usually sucks. the one exception being the free boba fett figure.

this is my blog dedicated to shit that was a bad idea

well, this is my "blog" about shit that I think sucks. some so absurdly shitty that it's fascinating and shit that is so shitty that you can't even laugh at how shitty it is(the word "blog" being on the shittiest names for something cool being one). that said, i'm not sure which category i put this one in, but here we go:

Remember buck rogers?

well I sure do, i loved the series...until the second season that is, when buck, wilma, twiki & Dr. Theopolis were transplanted from earth to a horrible star trek/battlestar galactica rip-off space ship "searcher." I mean. c'mon! who came up with this dogshit! well, i have to admit, i would throw a fucking tantrum if i missed an episode, but kids love garbage like that, and looking back, most of the stuff i loved as a child was pretty damn terrible(which is why i decided to do this crappy blog in the first place)...back to the shitty plot of buck rogers. as shitty as the new buck was(although watching a fat, out of shape, alcoholic Gil Gerard running around is a fucking sight to behold), it paled in comparison to the character that came along with the ill conceived story line:

HAWK!

This is THE shittest thing that possibly ever happend to a show, here is the character in a nutshell. he's a guy with a REALLY bad costume, and a equally bad wig that was made of feathers. that's it. so wait. he's a birdman because he has feathers on his head? what the fuck? oooohhhhh, right, he flies a space ship that is in the shape of a bird. gotcha. fucking rediculous! terrible. baffles me that this got ok'd. my theory is that one of the writers was fucking around and some asshole executive thought it was a good idea.

anywho, there is a fan tribute to Hawk, which in fact BLOWS MY FUCKING MIND! here's the link if you want to read about hawks "backstory" it's pretty compelling, if you like total garbage that is!

http://home.planet.nl/~m.theune/tc-hawk/about_hawk.htm

-mike